Living the Life I Wanted
March 1, 2012 § 1 Comment
I always wanted to be a stay at home mom. As long as I can remember, that was my dream.
Little did I know.
Life is not what I expected. Every day it’s a struggle to not only accomplish the tasks I need to accomplish, but to enjoy my life in the process. I love my husband and kids with all my heart, but when all you get are requests (or demands) all day long, it gets tiring. Some requests are kind, and involve a “please”. Others are less so, and are punctuated with a “NOW MOMMY!” These are not my favourite moments.
Today I tried something different. I threw pillows and blankets on the floor, and got some snacks. I put Happy Feet into the DVD player and I thought I’d watch a movie with my two kiddos. Well. 15 minutes into the movie, I realized it wasn’t going to happen the way I thought. My one year old was wandering around purposely tripping over myself and my 2 year old. The two year old didn’t want to share snacks, so he kept yelling “NO!” at his brother. After 30 minutes, I gave up and left the room. The one year old is napping, and the two year old is still watching the movie.
Something I should have learned a long time ago – have no expectations about the day. Because the day is not going to turn out the way I expected. Ever. There are good days, there are bad days. There are really good days, and there are really bad days. Most days are just days. Like any other job, there are easier days and there are more challenging days.
After nearly three years of being a stay at home mom, I feel like I’m finally starting to become the mother I thought I would be. I currently have bread baking (in the bread maker – I know my limits). There is homemade jam filling three shelves in my kitchen. There is clean laundry, folded, but not put away. My kids are happy, and my two year old is almost potty trained. I use cloth diapers, and hang them to dry.
But even with this knowledge of my life… my only thought is that I need another cup of coffee.