Let It Be
June 7, 2012 § Leave a comment
I think we all need to let it be.
Are you the person that you thought you would be? I certainly am not.
We need to stop beating ourselves up for not being what we thought we would be. I had a lot of expectations of myself as a stay at home mother. I thought I’d bake cookies every day (little did I know, I hate baking), and I thought my house would be spotlessly clean ALL the time (I also didn’t realize how much I hate cleaning). I figured my children would be perfectly well behaved, and I would be calm and sweet to them all the time. I thought the Lord would magically bless me with unending patience with my husband and children. I thought I would grow my own garden, and eat only vegetables that I had grown and canned myself. I thought I would have neighbours and friends over for dinner every week or two and serve them a gourmet meal that I had just “whipped up”.
In reality, 95% of the time, I can’t find a spoon because all my dishes are dirty. 4 out of 5 mornings, my husband can’t find any work shirts because I’ve avoided the laundry. My 3 year old regularly throws tantrums because he’s, well, 3. There is STUFF all over my house that I’d like to get rid of, but I can’t seem to find the motivation to just get up and get rid of it. My windows ALL have baby finger prints on them, perpetually, and my carpet has goldfish crackers ground into it. My nice furniture has kid stains everywhere, and I feel like using my upholstery steamer would be fruitless – it will just get another stain tomorrow.
I’ve discovered something. In learning to let myself be who I am, I’m becoming a better me. In learning to let go of who I thought I would be, I’m starting to enjoy the person I truly am. I can see my accomplishments which before looked pitiful. Yes! I DO make my own laundry detergent! And no, I am absolutely NOT amazing. It’s just something I think is cool, it’s cheap, and it works. So why not? So my house is a mess. Big deal. It’s not dirty. It’s just messy. I am a good cook! My husband enjoys pretty much every meal I put in front of him (and for those of you who KNOW my husband, no, it’s not just because he would eat a flip flop if he was hungry enough).
Allow yourself to be the person you are so that God can mold you into the person He wants you to become.