Getting Easier

April 10, 2012 § 3 Comments

Things are getting easier.

Two months ago, I was at the point that I thought life was going to suck forever. Not that I didn’t love my kids or my husband, because I absolutely did/do. I appreciated the fact that my husband works hard so I can stay home and be a mom. That love and appreciation has always been there.

But when you stay home alone, with two kids two and under every day with hardly an opportunity to go out, it certainly makes life a little more difficult. It’s really easy to get into “pity party” mode. And then people say to you “women have been doing this since the beginning of time. Suck it up!”, well, that doesn’t make things any easier.

Then I admitted it. I admitted to my husband that I had been feeling this way for a long time. I don’t know why that changed things, but it did.

Now things are getting easier. I’m still home alone all day, every day, with two kids two and under. I’m still solely responsible for cooking, cleaning, bathing, grocery buying, bill paying, flower planting, life planning, and everything else a stay at home mom does. The kids still drive me nuts on a regular basis. But things are getting better.

I got an idea from a different blog I read, and I really wish I could remember which one, to set alarms on my phone. I thought it was genius, so I started doing it (and of course, I had to personalize ring tones for each alarm). At 9:30, my phone sings the Barney “Clean Up” song, to which my children immediately start dancing and tidying their toys (in my dream world). At 4:00, my phone starts to sing the “Cuppy Cake” song, by Shirley Temple, which is a reminder for me to prepare dinner. At 7:00 a.m., my phone gently wakes me up so I have 30 minutes alone to spend with God before the day begins. This one is the hardest for me, as I am NOT a morning person.

So things are getting better. I am: a) spending some alone time with God every day. b) trying to schedule myself and the kids a bit better so that there is an order to life.  c) putting the computer away, and d) letting it go. I’m not a perfect mother. But I’m trying. I love my kids. I think they are the most precious gifts from God. I treasure them every day, even when they are running in circles yelling at the top of their lungs. If I’m still in my Tinkerbell pajamas as 8:30 a.m. (oh no no no, that wouldn’t be today…) so what? One kid is dressed. The other is still in jammies. They’ve eaten. They’re playing. Where is the “wrong” in that picture?

My new phrase… “so what?” It’s helping.

ADDED:  I found the blog with the alarm idea. Here it is! Life In A Shoe

How To Make Parenting Easy

March 15, 2012 § Leave a comment

This is the exact phrase that I googled this morning.

I’m not daft or slow. I I realize that parenting is work, and it’s a job. I realize that it takes effort and can’t be taken lightly. I realize that locking children in the closet is not the answer to that question!

I came upon this article in the Wall Street Journal:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704289504575313201221533826.html

and I was encouraged.

Apparently, all these things that “they” say we’re supposed to do… don’t matter! Imagine that. It doesn’t matter if we take our kids to after school activities every day, and it doesn’t matter if we read to them before bed. It doesn’t matter if I am “super mom” and bake cookies with my children every single day. It just doesn’t matter. These things don’t make happy kids. Spending time with them and being there makes them happy.

You I will still have to do some of the “hard” things. Like put the computer down. Or the book down. They still need “mommy time”. But I don’t have to be super. It doesn’t directly affect their level of success if my house is clean or messy. Or if I had them watch Baby Einstein every morning from 3 weeks on. Or if I let them listen to classical music in the womb (which I didn’t). What matters is that they have a mommy and a daddy who love them. And that they know it. 

Pensive and Pondering

February 1, 2012 § Leave a comment

Spring!

Today is the first day of February. We, as a family, are on the verge of some incredibly major life changing decisions. And here in south west Canada, we are on the verge of Spring! I know it’s a comparison that people make over and over again. But I can’t help but cherish the coincidental new beginnings. Things are going to be hard in the next couple of months in our home. Decisions will be made, and require major follow through. Budgets must be adhered to. Adjustments are being made. But in the end, there will be the refreshing newness of Spring.

There are so many things I want to change. I wrote about it at the beginning of January. I haven’t changed most of them. Hence, the lack of New Years’ resolutions. I’ve fallen into the “typical” category – people who don’t actually follow through on their resolutions. Granted, I didn’t actually MAKE resolutions… I made a statement. “Try Harder”. And in some areas, I have done that. I have definitely been trying harder at fitness (Kenpo yesterday…a lot of sweat, but not so much pain), and eating healthier (we have never gone through fresh veggies and feta cheese as fast as we have been since January), I’ve not been trying harder at “wifing” and “mothering”. The important things.

Why is it that we leave the most precious things until the end? Granted, eating healthier and becoming fit are things that will benefit my husband and children, but I am not directly becoming better to them. But what does becoming better mean? If you’re reading this, I really do want your thoughts and opinions on how to be a better parent to toddlers, and how to be a better wife. In my mind, a lot of it looks like a cleaner house and teaching them ABC’s and 123’s, and I know that cleaning and teaching aren’t necessarily the answer. I know part of it is bettering myself – any parent of toddlers can tell you that you spend exactly 1.2 minutes on yourself each day, on average. And increasing that amount will automatically put me in the “better Mom” category. But practically, what does it mean?

I have a friend whose children are the same ages as mine. And yesterday she baked Valentine’s Day sugar cookies with them. With a 2 1/2 year old and a just turned 1 year old. I find that a little crazy, and am at the same time, jealous that she found the time/energy to do something so awesome with her little ones! Does trying harder at “Momming” mean baking with the kids? Does it mean making play-dough and playing with them? Does it mean actively sitting down with them and teaching them things? Or is it more vague… like teaching them to say please and thank you (which my 2 year old does very consistently) and adding lessons into daily life?

Help, those of you who read this blog. Give me your insight!

Where Am I?

You are currently browsing the parenting category at Family Metamorphosis.